You wake up each morning and your first thoughts are of your loved one. As you rise out of bed you run down a list in your mind of all the things necessary for your loved one’s care today. Before you tend to your own needs, you are bathing, dressing or preparing their meal. The rest of your day is organized around assuring that the needs of your family member are met. Who are you? You are a caregiver.
Who are Caregivers?
Caregivers are unique but not rare. There are millions of caregivers, like you, all around the globe. And the numbers are continuing to grow. Most commonly, caregivers are spouses and children of an elderly and sick loved one. But caregiving is gradually moving into the extended family. Nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, and cousins, as well as friends become caregivers too.
Although every caregiving situation is unique, caregivers as a community are not alone. They are in good company. Caregiving crosses all cultures, races, ages, and socioeconomic status. Caregivers can be found from coast to coast. They are located in the country and in the city. Grocery clerks to CEOs are caring for loved ones. And as time marches forward, more and more homes become havens for caregiving as the over 65 population increases and medical needs become more complex.
As caregivers increase in number, support services for caregivers are also developing and expanding. But who are these caregivers and what does it take to live and hopefully thrive as a caregiver? Let’s examine some of the qualities that caregivers come to possess.
Qualities of a Caregiver
Compassion. One of the most obvious qualities is compassion. Compassion is the ability to feel sympathy and empathy for another’s situation. It is deeply understanding and relating to the discomfort and pain of another human being. Caregivers experience genuine compassion for those in their care. They express this compassion through their gentle words as well as their every act of caring.
Resiliency. Resiliency is the capability to recover or adjust easily to change. Caregiving is an emotional rollercoaster. It is painful to witness a loved one move from healthy, active and fully functioning, to sick and sedentary. The capacity to adapt to this change in your loved one’s condition as well as the change in lifestyle that caring for them entails becomes a significant task, one which tests and challenges a caregiver’s resiliency on an almost daily basis. Yet, more often than not, caregivers rise to the occasion.
Patience. Caregivers possess infinite patience. Patience is the quality of remaining calm and steadfast even in the presence of difficulty. Caregivers endure many hardships and trials while caring for a loved one, including the repetitiveness of the daily caregiving routine and disruption to their own life. Yet they tirelessly persevere often without complaint, becoming an unfaltering anchor for their loved one and family.
Selflessness. Caregivers are generally more concerned with their loved one’s welfare than their own. They perform selfless acts of caregiving on a daily basis, without pay and often without recognition. Countless hours are spent tending to the physical, emotional, medical, and even financial needs of a loved one, while one’s own needs become secondary. These selfless gifts make a caregiver particularly special.
Strength. Many caregivers do not consider themselves to be strong. Yet the daily responsibilities of caregiving require an inner and outer strength. Strength is sometimes apparent but is often times more subtle. Being there for your loved one, family and for yourself draws upon a deep internal well of strength that may have been untapped in the past. This type of strength stands out in caregivers.
Resourcefulness. Caregivers meet and handle a myriad of challenging and diverse situations. Through it all they become a source of support that is the very core of resourcefulness. If they are unable to provide a solution or a particular kind of assistance, they find the external resources (organizations, agencies, services) that can help.
Unconditional Love. Above all else caregivers are an endless supply of unconditional love. Love is what drives the caregiver. This kind of love does have expectations or judgments attached. Unconditional love has no limits or barriers; it does not require reciprocal return. This is the level of love exchanged by caregivers and loved ones on a daily basis all around us.
You are a Caregiver
It goes without saying that caregivers are human beings. As human beings they are naturally flawed. The strength to deal with the daily challenges of caregiving comes and goes. Despite the ups and downs, placed in situations they could not have predicted, caregivers are the day to day heroes and champions of the human spirit. All humans have innate virtues. Caregiving taps into these virtues on a more regular basis, calling forth the best of our human qualities, characteristics and strengths. Defying any single definition – you are a caregiver.
